Taking good care of you

By MIN Ambassador, 05.01.2026

At Mums In Need we support women suffering post-separation abuse. The majority of the women we work with have been subject to domestic abuse too. Whether abuse is physical, emotional, sexual, financial, or any other type, almost all survivors have endured coercive control. 

Trauma stays with you

Domestic abuse and coercive control often result in trauma. There are huge psychological and emotional effects that don’t leave you, even after the relationship has ended. Quite often, survivors have spent years putting their own needs right at the bottom of the pile. Self-esteem can be eroded. Being isolated can make us feel alone. And starting to make decisions on your own, not to meet someone else’s needs, can feel like a real challenge. 

It’s time for you

If you have escaped an abusive relationship or are undergoing post-separation abuse, creating space for you to heal is really important. If you have children, the focus may be entirely on them. While you obviously need to look after their needs, taking care of your own matters too. Even small acts of self-care can help. The saying about putting on your own life jacket first rings true - caring for yourself can help you to better support your children too.

Schedule self-care 

The start of a new year is often filled with ideas of how you can take better care of yourself. Some of this is useful, some can simply make us feel under more pressure. There is no ‘right’ way to look after yourself. We are all individuals. However, it may be a good time to start to explore how to give yourself a positive lift and make life feel better. Below you’ll find a few activities some of the women we work with have found helpful.

Vision board

A vision board is an expression of what you want. You can use images or words, or both. Use it to represent your dreams and any goals you have. Choosing what to add to your vision board creates focus and clarification of what you want your future to include. You can then look at it daily to inspire you with a reminder of the great future that awaits you.    

Journalling 

There are many types of journaling and you can find lots of inspiration online. At its core, it’s a practice of regularly recording your thoughts and feelings, experiences and goals. When life feels chaotic, it can provide a space for calm. It can also act as a record of what is happening in your life right now. Journaling reduces stress and by looking back in time you can see how far you’ve come and learn more about yourself. 

Somatic practices

Somatic practices are body-based techniques that help to calm your nervous system. It works by bringing your attention to your body, rather than your thoughts, helping you to release tension and reconnect with physical sensations. Somatic practices often include deep breathing, gentle movement, grounding exercises, and body scanning. Its purpose is to help you to feel present and build a sense of safety and ease. This can be really beneficial for people who’ve spent a long period ‘on alert’. You can request free Somatic Practice resources on our website. 

Breathwork 

Breathwork is sometimes part of somatic practice but can be used in isolation too. As the name suggests, it’s a practice centred around controlled breathing. This has an effect on your mental, emotional, and physical state. Guided breath can help the body to fully relax and create space for emotional release and clarity. There are many benefits, including reduced stress, more energy, better sleep, lower anxiety, and better emotional regulation. Josh Connolly, a supporter of Mums In Need, offers guidance around breathwork and has a community, Breathing Space. 

Meditation   

Meditation is about slowing down and creating stillness, which can be incredibly helpful in challenging times. You can choose meditation that is led by others (even on an app or website) or do it on your own. Techniques include observing your breath, repeating a mantra, or simply noticing your thoughts without judgment. It can create calm and clarity, and over time can improve your ability to react from a thoughtful, positive place rather than from stress and overwhelm.

Intention setting 

There are a number of ways you can use intention setting in your life. Rather than setting a specific goal or outcome, intention setting focuses more on your feelings and mindset. You might choose patience, resilience or confidence, and look to bring that into your day or your life. It can help give you a focus and support you in facing challenges with the mindset you wish to bring. 

Exercise

The benefits of regular exercise are well-documented, for both physical and emotional wellbeing. It can boost energy and promote better sleep. It also releases endorphins that reduce stress and increase feelings of wellbeing. Choosing an exercise that you enjoy is key, and you can look for ways to build it into your life too. Things like walking rather than catching the bus, doing squats while the kettle boils, or attending a dance class with a friend rather than going for a coffee. 

Previous hobbies

Coercive control can strip us of our real identities. Adapting our behaviour to suit someone else’s needs can make it hard to remember what we actually enjoy. Are there any activities you gave up whilst in an abusive relationship? Is there anything you did at school or college that you particularly loved? If you’re looking for ideas for activities to promote your wellbeing, this can be a good place to start. 

You deserve happiness

Remember, you deserve to feel good. Healing takes time, and taking time for yourself will help. Be kind to yourself too. Explore what works for you. Try things, and give them up if they aren’t serving you well. It’s good to spend time finding out how to take great care of yourself. Taking care of you is important - because you are important.