The portrayal of abuse in popular culture
(and why it matters)

By MIN Ambassador, 16.08.2026

Popular culture both shapes and reflects the culture we live in. It's easy to think that books, movies, music and TV shows of old didn't cover domestic violence and coercive control. But the real change is having the language to describe these.

In Jamaica Inn (1936) by Daphne du Maurier, Aunt Patience clearly suffers abuse from Joss Merlyn. And the term "gaslighting" comes from a play (1938) and film (1944) in which a husband manipulates his wife into doubting her sanity to control her - it literally gave us a term to identify recognised behaviour. These stories showed the behaviour before we had the words to describe it.

Talking about coercive control and post-separation abuse is essential in giving survivors the words to recognise it as such. One of the most effective ways this may be done is through popular culture (movies and music, TV shows and books). Yet there are many nuances to abuse, so creators must tread carefully to get it right.

The acclaimed Netflix series, Maid, was released in 2021. It's inspired by the book Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother's Will to Survive by Stephanie Land. While the book is a memoir, the adaptation is openly not faithful to it. It tells the story of a year or so in the life of a woman in the US who leaves an abusive relationship with her young daughter. We see Alex's confusion and inability to recognise her situation as abuse, as it's not physical. Yet we see holes punched in walls and examples of isolation and financial control. She has to navigate co-parenting with her ex-partner, dealing with financial challenges, the courts, and even going back to him at one point. She also begins to understand the abuse her mother suffered. What Maid does well is to explore the messiness and confusion around coercive control and post-separation abuse whilst weaving in information about what abuse really looks like. Being set over ten episodes provided the space to tell this.

Another book, It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover, was turned into a movie. Unfortunately, a lot of the press was overshadowed by a lawsuit between its main actors. The story looks at domestic abuse but also intergenerational patterns of it, hence the title "It ends with us," as Lily decides to break the cycle for her new daughter. The film shows not only physical violence but the control and manipulation that takes place. It shows abuse as a pattern, as the viewer sees tensions building, an incident happening and reconciliation following that. Adding to the situation is Ryle's position as a respected and well-liked surgeon. He's almost ‘too good’ to be abusive, challenging the stereotypes many have of perpetrators.

The novel Nesting (2024) by Roisín O'Donnell is a powerful look into post-separation abuse specifically. This is an area rarely covered. It also shows coercive control, largely through flashbacks into Ciara and Ryan's relationship. There isn’t physical violence, but we discover how Ryan has manipulated Ciara over a long period of time. He manages their money, chips away at her confidence and self-belief, and controls her behaviour, yet appears charming and likeable to others. The post-separation abuse includes preventing Ciara from leaving Ireland with their daughters to be with her family. She then has to navigate legal and housing systems whilst dealing with the recognition of the abuse she has suffered. It captures the emotions of fear and anxiety, hope and relief, and the reader almost discovers the abuse alongside Ciara as she comes to terms with it herself.

UK soap operas have tackled various types of abuse over the years, using their structure to show the slow-burn of coercive control itself. One of the first such storylines was the EastEnders plot between Trevor Morgan and Little Mo in 2000–2001, which focused on a physically violent relationship. More recently, in 2024, Emmerdale highlighted the abuse of Belle Dingle by Tom King. This built up with the subtlety that abuse does, starting with love-bombing and leading to monitoring her through different forms of technology, right through to a court case where he was eventually convicted despite his efforts to twist the story. Even The Archers on Radio 4 featured a storyline around coercive control in 2013–16, which ended with Helen stabbing Rob in self-defence, and being tried for murder as a result.

In its role as entertainment, popular culture will often lean toward the most dramatic or extreme outcomes. It has, however, moved further from stereotyping and does a better job than previously of portraying the nuances and subtleties of coercive control and post-separation abuse. Sharing stories has connected and educated humans since we lived in caves and listened around fires. Awareness of abuse is not enough on its own, but it is an important element in creating societal change. Popular culture can provoke wider discussion too, and give people the words to describe what they’re experiencing. For those living it, this can be incredibly powerful and be the first step to recognising abusive behaviours.